How to Quietly Open a Bag of Chips in Class

How many times have you been so hungry in class that you were willing to eat that month old mint buried way down in your bag?  Remember when you bought those chips at lunch?  Those chips are there in your bag, but every time you reach for them, they let out a high-pitched squeak that everyone in your whole city could clearly hear?

 If you haven’t suffered through on of these dark times, then your one of the lucky ones.  If you have felt the gnawing nag that I call class cravings, you will appreciate these sneaky tricks to open any loud bag of chips during those quiet lectures:

1.) Slowly and gently pull the chips from you bag to your lap by holding the top.  Hold the top of the bag with two fingers, so you don’t squeeze the bag and make it squeal like drunk pig.  It’s important to avoid bumping the bag against any folders or pulling it out of tight spaces.

2.) Be Patient.  Slowly pry open the bag in tiny, quiet increments of about one second each.  Resist the urge to rip open the bag.  This is the most critical step in the entire process.  If you skip this step, bad stuff will happen.  Don’t let bad stuff happen.

3.) Chew quietly.  You must avoid the temptation to shovel the whole bag into your mouth.  No matter how hungry you are, remember that the chip bag is not edible!

4.) Enjoy.  Now that those chips are finally open, you can enjoy your reward.

Note:  Also, it is important to always pay attention in class even if you are sneaking chips!  Bags of chips are sneaky little things, so they like to make noise even when you are careful, but if you follow these tips, then you will be full in no time(without anyone knowing)

What sneaky snacking tricks do you guys have for eating in class? Tell me what you think on Facebook, Twitter, or in the comments section!

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